No More Pretending...

No More Pretending
Song Lyrics by Scott Krippayne

I can look good when I want to
I know the right things to say
I cover up what I don't want you to see
But you see it anyway
Maybe I think I can fool you
Maybe I'm fooling myself
I want to change but I don't know how
And I need your help

Chorus

No more pretending
No more pretending
Lord, I know I need to tell you the truth tonight
But everything is not alright in my life
And I need you like never before
I don't want to pretend anymore
I'm tired of hiding my weakness
I'm tired of trying to look strong
I don't want to say that every thing's fine
When there's so much that's wrong
Tell me again that you love me
Though it's more than my heart understands
And I will lay down my disguises
And show You who I am

Repeat Chorus

As I was in the service this weekend and Bryan shared about being "real" a song that I've held dear for several years now called "No More Pretending" popped right back into my heart. This song has been with Greg & I through some pivotal moments in our marriage and as individuals, I can name the time and place I first heard it...probably even the candle scent that was burning that morning in the church, when a very precious friend of ours sang this song...that moment was a God moment in our marriage and for me personally, a life-changing moment, we could honestly feel His loving arms wrapped strongly around us pointing our lives and our marriage in a direction that only He could. For that moment I am forever thankful.


Bryan's message for this weekend really brought home the importance of not just being present in our walk, but truly desiring and pursuing the amazing God we love and serve. His desire is to have a relationship with us,a REAL relationship...for us to know that He is right here beside us at all times, by the greatest cost of His own Son.

As I look forward to the year 2008 I look forward to the challenge of being "real" and I challenge whoever may be reading this to be real and to do whatever it takes to pursue Him and desire Him and an amazing relationship with Him.

I don't know about you, but I am so pumped!!! I cannot for next weekend...to witness one of the many fingerprints of God...to see the many faces the He brings...to watch and be blessed as we see lives impacted and transformed by this amazing opportunity God has placed before us...to watch Him move and bless in this coming year!!

I send out a challenge...don't be a prisoner to pretending, open up, let God free you from that prison, a simple, yet sincere prayer will be the start of a new journey, a start to an incredible, amazing freedom that can come only from Him.

This morning in my quiet time as I was gathering some different material for a New Year's eve devotional I came upon the video below and it blessed my heart tremendously and wanted to share it with you. As we get ready for the launch 1 week from today, this message couldn't have been more clear to me that God truly has brought us to this awesome moment for a reason, He can and will use each of us if we are willing and open to His plan. So this video touched me, the lyrics really brought home that this life is about loving God and people and helping lead them into life changing relationships with Jesus. We just have to be willing...someone to care.





Father, I thank You for Bryan and his obedience to bring this weekend's message, I thank You for the clarity that You brought to me through it and I pray that You will continue to bless the Meadow Heights staff, members and attenders with clarity, vision and purpose in the coming year. I pray for all those who are searching, I pray that You would bless them with an indescribable conviction and clarity of what You desire for their lives. Mold me, make me, use me Father to glorify You and further Your amazing Kingdom.
I pray boldly for Greg and all the volunteers Lord, bless them their families as they give so much of themselves and their gifts and never let us forget that it is all about You and Your people. I pray Your will be done and thank You for Your constant loving presence at the site and for the safety and vision You continue to bless each person with. May You forever be glorified...

Wow!

Truly all I can say is Wow! And to say thanks Mark Stamp for emailing this to me...it came in perfect timing!




Father God, I thank You for Your almighty purpose for my life and my family's life. May we see Your purpose with new clarity and peace today. You truly are an amazing God, who has blessed our lives with some amazing people! Love you!

7 Ways to a Joyous Day...

Today I was browsing through my new Guideposts magazine and found an article by one of my favorite authors Max Lucado and wanted to share some of it because it really touched my heart and reminded me that life can be tough sometimes, but God is here and He is good ALL the time, no matter what the circumstances may be.
I'm going to post some of the parts that really struck my heart so....here it goes...

Ever have one of those bad days? You know - not kind of bad, but bad. You mess up at work. You have a terrible fight with your spouse. Your doctor calls you in for some tests that sound pretty scary. A day seemingly beyond all redemption. When you have a day like that, you have several choices. You can retreat into paralyzing fear, act out inappropriately or just go into complete denial. But there's actually another choice: You can rejoice. Because it's the only real way out. "This is the day the Lord has made," the psalmist tells us. "We will rejoice and be glad in it." This day? This messy, painful, frustrating day deserves a chance? Yes. Every day, whether it includes a lost wallet, a dented bumper or the funeral of a loved one, deserves our full presence. They all come from God's drawing room. Still not convinced? Try these seven strategies the next time you find yourself trapped in a day that holds more than you think you can bear. You'll be surprised at how freeing they are.

1. Fret not: Anxiety will ruin your day. And it can be a real confidence killer. You can't add one more day to your life or more life to your day by fretting. Worry doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles; it only rids today of its strength. And why should you worry when you are surrounded by friends everywhere you go?

2. Forgive freely: Forgiveness is not about saying that what a person did is okay or that they're right. It's about making a decision, a choice to let the hurt and anger go. It frees you up to move on. Forgive someone and you'll discover that that person has virtually no power to hurt you anymore. Then you'll be able to focus on what you really care about: the joy of life.

3. Fear not: Fear is a joy-killer. it can make me stressed out, short-tempered, unhappy. What the opposite of fear? Trust. I do better when I trust in God. He's in control of my life. Place your fear in God's hands and you'll find that you have greater peace each day.

4. Live passionately: Discover your passions by looking back over your life for those sweet-spot moments where you've had 'Yes!' experiences. String those together, and you'll begin to see new possibilities for your life. Nothing gives the day greater joy than a good wallop of passion that comes from doing something from your soul.

5. Get Over It: If you look long enough and hard enough, you'll find something to bellyache about. So quit looking!! If you have health problems, you probably feel justified in complaining. Being in pain is no fun. But try this instead of griping: Take a break from your problems. Face each day determined to dwell on the positives. think about what you have to look forward to. Write a list and put it where you can see it. Try lending an ear to someone in need. Be especially kind to people with whom you have only one encounter - a waiter, a taxi driver, a store clerk. You may have only one chance to be kind. When you start living for others, it's pretty hard not to get over whatever's bothering you.

6. Collect your blessings: Recognize all that you have, and finding blessings to collect will become easy. The key to a joyous day? Make gratitude your default emotion. Say, "I can find things to be grateful for in this day." Let your thoughts be positive. Expect good things to happen. Seek out people who can encourage you. Over time, you'll find that God's list of blessings is longer than your list of burdens.

7. Color your world: The world is full of vibrant color. Don't let it lose an ounce of its luster. Assume this day is going to be good, and it will. God made it so.

Father God, I thank You for your gentle reminders that You are God and are in total control. I thank You for your amazing presence in my life and for the encouragement that You bring to myself and my family. I thank You for the amazing people that You continue to place in our lives. Help me to live a joyous life and forever sing praises to Your Holy name.

Happy 5th Birthday Ashtyn!!!

Wow! Five amazing years with this precious child. As an OB nurse I have the amazing opportunity to witness God's miracles as each baby is brought into the world, but this past year has brought new meaning of what miracles our girls truly are. God has blessed our lives more than we could have ever imagined.

Tonight we had the opportunity to celebrate Ashtyn's 5th birthday at the MHAV site with about 20 amazing people who have a heart for God and a vision for His people that have touched my heart each day/night we are at the site working side by side for the same purpose...to honor God and love people. We have been so blessed to be able to celebrate both Hannah & Ashtyn's birthdays there with people who have blessed us so much! Ashtyn got to stand on the new stage as we all sang 'Happy Birthday' to her and watched her blow out her candles...she thought that was awesome!

As I was picking up her birthday cake & supplies I became so overwhelmed with thankfulness that it was all I could do to not break down and cry right in the middle of Wal-Mart! God has blessed us with an amazing five years with her and as a mom I prayed selfishly for many more birthdays with her. Don't get me wrong...I totally trust His plan for her life, yet I find myself being very selfish this time of year, constantly "arm wrestling" God for her, I have been riding the fence lately, I give her to Him totally, then get selfish and want to take her back, I have been wrestling with this a lot lately. Who am I to think that I could ever win an arm wrestling match with God or that I could ever love her or take better care of her than Him?? God is amazing, as I struggle with this He continues to place verses or quotes in front of me that gently remind me that He is in total control. In my quiet time I was browsing through a book that I love so much called "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children" by Jodie Berndt (which I highly recommend) and He placed these thoughts before me...
**"Prayers for your children's safety may be rooted in the certainty that God loves them, and that the Lord is always alert and on the job" (AWESOME)
** "When you pray for your children's health and safety, it helps to keep your eyes fixed on JESUS - NOT the circumstances" (Tell me that wasn't screaming at me today :-) )
**"You can always pray with confidence, knowing that what satan means for harm, God uses for good - even when human eyes see any possible way to turn tragedy into triumph". (SWEEEET and totally true!!)
I love His gentleness, His strength is amazing and I cannot thank Him enough for His Almighty love and strength and for loving us more than we can fathom.

I'm going to post a few of the scriptural prayers that touched my heart and I have prayed a lot. So please feel free to join me in these prayers and insert anybody's names where Ashtyn's name is within the prayer.

Let Ashtyn lie down and sleep in peace. (Psalm 4:8)

Thank You that You have redeemed Ashtyn and called her by name; she is Yours. When she passes through the waters (trials, temptations, peer pressure, suffering, and the like), be with her. When she passes through the rivers, do not let them sweep over her. When she walks through the fire, do not let her be burned. (Isaiah 43:1-2)

Let Ashtyn take refuge in You and be glad; let her ever sing for joy. Spread Your protection over Ashtyn that she may rejoice in You. (Psalm 5:11)

Lord, you are faithful. Please strengthen and protect Ashtyn from the evil one. (2 Thessalonians 3:3)

Give Ashtyn victory and be her shield. Guard her course and protect her way. (Proverbs 2:7-8)

Thank You that Jesus bore our sins in His body on the tree, and that by his wounds Ashtyn is healed. (1 Peter 2:24)

A nice reminder...

I have been receiving some awesome emails from some friends that come just when I need them. They are encouraging and are constant reminders to me that God is totally in control and is always there! We serve an amazing God who loves us and cares for us more than we can fathom. I received this email today and it said to pass it on to someone who may need it, so I thought posting it would be even more appropriate because this one is an amazing reflection of our Lord!! One of our great friends lost her mom unexpectedly this weekend, so Jayne...this ones for you, I love ya!


When I fall, He lifts me up!
When I fail, He forgives!
When I am weak, He is strong!
When I am lost, He is the way!
When I am afraid, He is my courage!
When I stumble, He steadies me!
When I am hurt, He heals me!
When I am broken, He mends me!
When I am blind, He leads me!
When I am hungry, He feeds me!
When I face trials, He is with me!
When I face persecution, He shields me!
When I face problems, He comforts me!
When I face loss, He provides for me!
When I face Death, He carries me Home
"HE IS GOD"

May we never forget that He is God and He loves us and is always there with His arms wide open! Have an amazing week!

Father, I thank You for being God and I thank You for lifting, forgiving, strengthening, being the Way, being courageous, a steady Rock, the Healer, the Mender, the Leader, thank you for being with me, shielding me, comforting me, providing for me and for carrying me. I thank You for Jayne, Jim and Ava, and I pray that You would bless them and their family with a peace that passes all understanding...may You fill the void in their lives with Your Omnipotent presence.

The beauty of IMAGINE...

As we first started talking about the IMAGINE series I was so incredibly excited to see how God was going to move in and through this series and let me tell you what...last night blew me away. As Greg & I were sitting there listening to the Lester's you could see the AV and it's tiger directly behind them which brought so many emotions with it that I could hardly contain myself. All I could do was just sit there in total awe of the amazing God I love & serve and thank Him for His Omnipotent power in our lives and in our church! It was so surreal to be sitting there surrounded by hundreds of fellow Christ-followers for the soul purpose of praising Him for all that He has allowed to occur in and through the lives and hearts of His people over the last several weeks.
As we had the commissioning of the AV missionaries, I was so moved as I looked back and saw the 150 or so who came forward and just when I thought I was totally moved the entire Meadow Heights family lit their lights for God and I really don't have the words to explain the joy I had in my heart at that moment. I totally had a vision of the face of Jesus at that very moment, hearing His sweet still voice say, "well done good and faithful servants...you finally get it."
Saturday night as I sat in service and Greg announced the commitment total (yes...it was a surprise to me too, he wouldn't crack!)I could not believe it, Meadow Heights, you stepped up to the challenge and truly allowed God to work in and through you and I thank God for allowing me to be a part of such an amazing family!! I can't wait to see what He continues to do over the course of the next 12 months as each of us continue to grow spiritually as we place our total trust and walk in faith with Him and remember that He CAN do anything.
I was scheduled to work after the celebration service and let me to you what...it was not a pretty sight when I walked in...I was totally tear covered, but what an awesome time I've had sharing how God is being glorified and how lives are already being changed.
Each day/night as Greg, the girls and I are at MHAV I can only IMAGINE the faces of people I am praying for as I picture each of them in the sanctuary and I imagine how their lives will be changed when they experience God and His love in a way they have never had the opportunity to receive it. It drives Greg & I even harder and makes us even more humbled for the opportunity to take part in this amazing "God vision".
I have to say also that we have an amazing church staff who have led this campaign far greater than any team I've ever seen. They have humbled themselves before God and allowed Him to be the Leader and to be glorified in each and every aspect of their days! It has been amazing to watch Greg as he gives this all he has with no complaints and no desire for recognition. His only request is that God will get ALL the glory! I love you so much Greg and am so proud of the man of God you are and am so thankful to be your wife! You truly bless my heart and encourage me more than you can imagine! I LOVE YOU!!
It's almost 2am, so have an amazing day and to God be ALL the glory!!

Father God, I am in awe of your awesomeness! You blow me away! You are truly the Rock of my salvation!

Happy 7th Birthday Hannah!

What an awesome day! It is hard to believe that we have been blessed with Hannah for 7 years now! And what an amazing time is has been! In my quiet time I reflected on scriptures directly related to our children and these two caught my heart:
Psalm 127:3 "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward."
Ephesians 6:4 "Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."
I love those verses so much and as for Psalm 127:3...as I recall my pregnancy, labor and the present I am totally in awe of how God has blessed my life with these beautiful children. What an amazing reward! And Ephesians 6:4...challenges me beyond compare. I so love to watch my children love God, eachother and each and every person they come in contact with the love of the Lord. I feel so honored as a parent to have this opportunity to teach them and mold them the way God desires. Not that I don't mess up, (a lot sometimes), but God has blessed us with them so they can go out into the world and make a difference, to shine the light of His love for all to see. I'm totally up for the challenge and thank Him for all the goodness He has blessed us with in these children.

Lord, I submit myself to You. I realize that parenting a child in the way You would have me to is beyond my human abilities. I know I need You to help me. I want to partner with You and partake of Your gifts of wisdom, discernment, reveltaion and guidance. I also need Your strength and patience, along with a generous portion of Your love flowing through me. Teach me how to love the way You love. Where I need to be healed, delivered, changed, matured or made whole, I invite You to do that in me. Help me to walk in righteousness and integrity before You. Teach me Your ways, enable me to obey Your commandments and do only what is pleasing in Your sight. May the beauty of Your Spirit be so evident in me that I will be a godly role model. Give me the communication, teaching, and nurturing skills that I must have. Make me the parent You want me to be and teach me how to pray and truly intereced for the life of this child. Lord, you said in Your Word, "Whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive" (Matthew 21:22). In Jesus' name I ask that You will increase my faith to believe for all the things You've put on my heart to pray for concerning this child.

Overwhelmed...

Have you ever been so overwhelmed that you are almost completely speechless?? I am, if you know me very well, is totally and utterly almost a miracle in itself.
This week has been amazing, humbling, overwhelming & filled with God's magnificent presence in so many ways.
I've been blessed to be part of CommunityMPACT Day 2007 and let me tell you what, working with Mac to get this mission done has been awesome! It has challenged me, encouraged me, blessed me and confirmed, with new clarity, what my purpose here on earth is.
Then Ashtyn's PET scan was cancelled due to our insurance claiming it is not medically necessary. And I will be quite honest, I am very human and every ounce of my being was incredibly tested by this trial! I went through a period of tears, anger, and frustration. I honestly allowed this insurance company (for a period of time) to totally rock my peace and my world. God was so incredibly patient with me, He allowed me time to be human, to feel all those feelings, then when I calmed down & prayed that He forgive me for being so angry and upset, He lovingly and gracefully reminded me that I am a mom and I will feel those feelings, but the most important thing is that I give it all to Him, He wants me to lay it all at the foot of the cross. Leave that baggage with Him, because He has the strength to carry it all. When we are weak, He is made strong and let me tell you what He was stronger than I could have ever imagined.
Through these trials we have been incredibly overwhelmed by the outpouring of love, encouragement & prayers from people all over the world (literally). We have received tons of emails, phone calls and cards from people we have never heard of before and each at a moment we needed that encouragement.
In a conversation the other day the person I was speaking with asked me if I had ever Googled Ashtyn's name and said how overwhelming it was. And to be honest, I never had thought about it until tonight, as I sat down and began reflecting on our day, tears literally pouring down my cheeks in awe of the amazing God we serve who has continued placing amazing people and resources in our lives. So, I took the plunge and typed in her name!! Wow!! Crazy!! I don't know how many websites mentioned her name and the benefit concert that is going to be held on November 10th in her honor. Check this group out http://www.myspace.com/parallaxviewband they are the band that will be performing!! Thanks to Parallax View for honoring God by loving people, you rock (literally!)

I stand in awe of You Lord! Your love is amazing! My hearts sings a song of praise each & every moment of the day to You! Thanks for the awesome calling You have for my life! GOD, YES, AMEN!!

Another stellar day...

This week has blessed my socks off & today just topped the icing on the cake! This past weekend Bryan asked for people to volunteer to make goodie bags for the employees of the Fredericktown & Arcadia Valley schools as our Community MPACT day is this weekend & let me tell you what...the people of Meadow Heights represented today as we met to put them all together! It was like an amazing swarm of bees. Mac & I were allowing the whole week for people to come in & work on the 300 bags we needed to be completed. We didn't need any stinkin' week, all we needed was 30 minutes and the job was done! God's people continue to bless my heart more & more, which I didn't think was possible because they are already stinkin' awesome! Not only did that go awesome, but Penny had went to get all the supplies yesterday & all that was left after stuffing each bag was maybe 10 candy bars. Talk about another stellar job!

Then, to top that off, I got a call from Ashtyn's doctors and her PET scan has been moved from December 18 to THIS Thursday. God totally rocks! I had submitted a prayer request this weekend at church that we pray that Ashtyn's scan be in God's timing, not mine, or the anesthesiologists and God blessed our lives due to the humble, faithful and fervent prayers of some amazing people in our lives! Wow! I am still overwhelmed by His goodness and amazing grace!!

Have you felt God's presence lately? If not, is there something I can join you in prayer about, because like Ephesians 3:20 says, "God CAN do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine, guess or request in your wildest dreams!" I have witnessed this so much lately, in our lives and lives around us! So, if you just aren't feeling it lately, please feel free to email me or place a comment.

God, I come before You totally humbled and in awe of Your magnificent presence in our lives. I thank You for Your timing and for Your will and I thank You for the amazing brothers & sisters in Christ you have blessed us with. I lift Ashtyn up to You today, bless her with a peace and strength that passes all understanding, bless the medical staff who will take care of Ashtyn, may their hands & lives reflect a love, wisdom and knowledge that flows directly from You. I pray for MPACT day Lord, I pray that You will bless each person who is taking part & I pray that You may be glorified in and through our efforts! Remind us Lord to never take our hearts off the people and the lives that can be changed and impacted through Your calling for each of us. Your truly amazing God & I am forever thankful for Your presence in my life.

Amazing times...

Wow! It's hard to believe that it has been almost 1 week since my last blog! Time has truly flown! The pictures I posted were of this past weekend at our Fall Festival, which was great! The upper left corner is of Hannah with her escort Hagen and Suzie, the Senior Queen candidate she walked for and her escort Cody. Is that not the cutest picture! And to top those off, look how cute Hannah was the night of coronation! She looked so beautifully precious. As you can see Ashtyn was quite proud to be "Hannah's sister" and I also had one that said "Hannah's mom". And my favorite picture is the one here to the left of Greg & Hannah. Hannah glowed! She loved being the center of all the attention!

Today we had the opportunity to meet with Ashtyn's Rheumatology doctors and they have decided to have her undergo a PET scan, to determine if there truly is no inflammation in her aorta & major vessels. If there is none, they are going to perform an angioplasty (insertion & inflation of a balloon to prayerfully widen her narrowings) in three different places of her aorta that are severely narrowed. The left ventricle of her heart has become enlarged because it is having to work so hard to push the blood through her vessels, so that is what they are wanting to help her heart with through the angioplasties. If inflammation is found, they plan on another 6 months of chemotherapy. All in all, Greg and I are very much at peace with this, we are going to cover her with continuous prayers and ask that His protection continue to flood over her precious body. The major concern with the angioplasty is that her aorta could actually tear during inflation causing emergency surgery to replace that section of her aorta. So we are praying for strong, yet flexible artery walls during this.

Today we also received a huge blessing! Our beagle & yellow lab have been missing since Friday afternoon, and as you can imagine we have been heartbroken with a 6 year old who has been way more heartbroken than us. Well, today Ash & I were on our way out the door to pick up Hannah school and here came Sparky (our lab) walking to the door. He looked horrible! So being the "calm" person I am, I freaked out crying and called the vet! So off we went to get Hannah and tell her the good news and to hurry home to be with him until his appointment. But the greatest, most awesome blessing of it all.....Hannah had the opportunity to witness an answered prayer, God's Omnipotent power and the power of faith! She has been praying faithfully day in and day out and today as we were on our way to the vet I asked her if she had thanked God for answering her prayers and she looked at me with the most precious smile as she petted her dog and said, "I already did!". Which then turned into a wonderful conversation of how amazing God is and that He hears our every prayer, no matter what it may be. I was able to remind her that we prayed it according to His will, not ours, and she said she was so glad that it was His will to bring Sparky home and said that if it isn't His will to bring Baby (the beagle) home to us, that He would keep her safe and provide her with a great home like ours! PRECIOUS and one of those amazing God moments for Hannah & I!

As I put the girls to bed tonight their prayers resounded with praise to Him for bringing Sparky home and prayed that he would be better real soon. (He has double pneumonia with a fever of 104) They also prayed that He would bring their daddy safely home from the Group Fellowship tonight! My heart is overflowing in awe of the precious, most amazing hearts that God has given them!

Father, I come to you in awe of Your love, strength & knowledge. Only a God like You could bless my heart the way You do day in and day out! Thank You for the precious angels you have blessed my life with, continue to guard their hearts with a love and compassion just like You. Bless Greg & Bryan as they are away from their families and I pray that You would be with us and Brenda as they are away. May we see with new clarity the mission and vision you have for us and our spouses! Your love amazes me! Thank You for answered prayers and child-like faith that You allowed to be restored in Hannah today! And as the girls say, God bless Sparky!

Nothing but pure blessing....

This week has been full of busyness, running here & there with the kids to dress fittings, Dr.'s appointments, float building, but best of all demolition on the Meadow Heights Arcadia Valley site! AWESOME!

Yesterday Ashtyn & I had the wonderful and amazing privilege of "going to work" work with Greg and let me tell you what it blessed my heart so much! We started out early heading to Lowe's and a few other places to gather some supplies for the site. Once that was completed it was off to work, and I mean real dirty, hard work!!

We rented a tile "puller upper", which I was blessed to be able to operate! It was great! It was hard, but it truly was a blessing! As we were there all day, and church family members would come and volunteer their time (and work their tails off), it literally brought tears to my eyes! I could look around that building and IMAGINE hundreds of people there celebrating life & their relationship with Christ. I could picture hundreds of new people beginning their relationship with Him. It was overwhelming & I am truly SO thankful for the awesome opportunity to be part of such an amazing ministry. One that honors God, loves people and leads them into a life changing relationship with Christ. My heart truly was in a total state of thanksgiving and praise yesterday! WONDERFUL!!

As the day ended our bodies were tired, but I honestly could have probably worked throughout the night on pure adrenaline! Out of all the things I could have been doing yesterday, I would not have wanted to miss this for the world!

A scripture that keeps resounding in my heart this week is from Psalm 139:23-24, it says Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Lead me in the way everlasting O Lord, search me Father and keep me in line with Your will for my life. Thank you for this amazing life and opportunity to reach out to others and lead them into a life changing relationship with You. Thank You for that amazing challenge. May I always be humble before You and celebrate and cherish each and every breath You all me to breathe. I love You Lord & will praise You forever and ever.

On cloud 15 and climbing...

Whew! What an absolutely, positively, amazing weekend at Meadow Heights! I am so incredibly excited!! God is so on the move and I am so humbled by the opportunity to watch His vision being unfolded! It's like a huge Christmas gift that you've been waiting to open for years! Yet still only have a tiny piece of the paper torn so you can catch just a tiny glimpse of the AWESOME gift that is waiting to be unwrapped!

Like Mel, I find it very hard to express all the emotions that have been running through my body over the course of this weekend! Bryan's message blessed my heart, AGAIN! The new digs at the church are down right SWEEEEET and only added to the phenomenal presence of MH's!

The Imagine video that included the Virtual tour of MHAV brought so much excitement to me that my heart pounded and pounded and pounded! As the virtual tour flew through the auditorium I could honestly see people seated in the chairs! People I love so much and long for them to experience the love that God provides through MH and people that already bring so much to the family of God! Man! Talk about clarity! God keeps amazing me with His Omnipotent presence!

The comments to my last blog have blessed my heart SO much! It's very humbling to think about the fact that people actually take the time to read what's on my heart! I had no clue that so many people have access to my blog or even knew it exists! Humbling, very humbling! And very encouraging, because my biggest prayer is that God will be glorified and that our lives will point directly to Him! Our strength and faith comes solely from God and God alone and all the awesome people He has placed in our lives, some we have never even met before, that pray for us and encourage us so much! Thanks so much! I love you all!!

God, I come to You now, totally in awe of Your awesome presence in our lives and in our church! Continue to fill us with Your Spirit and lead us in a way that only You can! Thank You for Bryan and the awesome gift and message You have bestowed upon Him! Bless he and our staff as they lead us in a God honoring effort to impact our community and our world! Your love Oh Lord bless me more than I could have ever fathomed. May You be forever glorified in my life.

My hearts desire...

God has been moving so much in and through different things in my life...from different scriptures He places on my heart, or songs that have been influencing me over the last several weeks. Natalie Grant has a song called "In Better Hands" that has just blown me away, this song couldn't have come at a better time. You can check it out here, but be prepared...get some tissue and truly reflect on each word, they couldn't be more true. With God we are all truly in better hands than we can imagine and think about it...is there honestly a safer place than the mighty hands of God to place our lives and the lives of our children? Not a chance!!!



Ashtyn did amazing yesterday! We made a boo-boo yesterday morning and allowed her to have a couple drinks of a protein shake (the child was miserable) so her MRA was delayed for 6 hours. DUH!! I'm a nurse for goodness sake and know all that, but the mommy in me definitely took over! But, I think it was better for her, she was able to chill with us and her grandparents which allowed her to relax. The anesthesia went well and she came out of it wonderfully. We think they had put some sort of "truth serum" in it, she was quite hilarious for the rest of the evening.



We are so thankful for all the prayers that have gone up on Ashtyn and our behalf and we are so incredibly thankful for the faith that stands behind them as well. We serve an amazing God!! One who will heal her and perform a miraculous miracle IF it is His will. I don't mean to sound weird, because believe me, if there is anyone who believes that He can perform miracles and healing, I do, I have witnessed that amazingness on many occasions, in my own life and in this trial itself. But I want to make sure that when we display that faith to "non-believers" or those struggling with their belief, that we are very careful, that we display our trust totally in Him no matter what His will is, and that they understand that everything is in His timing and that there is a purpose for everything. I don't know if it makes sense, but if it isn't His will to perform a miraculous healing, but chooses to use this precious life to lead people into life changing relationships with Him, I don't want them to look at our Lord as one who "failed us". I want them to look at Him in awe for all He has allowed to happen in and through our lives. I want them to see the love and strength He has supplied in our lives and the miracles He has performed in her breaking her leg so we knew she was sick, that He has allowed her body to make such awesome collateral circulation to supply blood to her brain, kidneys and legs, I honestly could go on and on, and I want them to see the healing that has taken place in the lives and hearts of many as they witness the strength of this precious child that can come only from God. God tells us to go boldly to Him with our requests and I can guarantee I have and will continue to go boldly to Him on behalf of Ashtyn, I will continue to pray for a miracle to be performed so all the glory will go directly to Him, and I will also continue to go humbly before Him, thanking Him for all the many gifts He has already given us and pray according to His will, not mine.



As a mom and a Christ follower, this has been my prayer from the very beginning and I pray that you can see what it is my hearts yearns for...for God to be glorified no matter what His plan is for this trial, because honestly, it's all about Him, we wouldn't have this precious life it weren't part of His amazing plan. Philippians 4:13 has been a scripture that through my life I have always held onto and one I have prayed over my children on a daily basis. We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength and I thank Him for the strength He has supplied!



Father, I come humbly today, praying that Your will will be done, I pray that if it is Your will, You will heal Ashtyn, I pray that lives are changed through this precious life, that they see the beauty of Your love, grace and strength in our lives. Use us Lord in a way that only You can, may we be the salt and light of the earth as You have called us to be. May the weak say they are strong, the poor say they are rich and the lost seek and find You, and I pray that our lives are used to point them directly to You. Your love amazes me and I thank You for being the Lord of our lives! I thank You for the many prayer warriors in our lives and for the faith You have given us, continue to bind us together and strengthen us as we go boldly in Your name to impact Your world. I love You and give You all the praise and the glory forever!!

Matthew 11:28

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

Last night as I lay wrapped strongly in Greg's arms after a long, vigorous day, sobbing like a baby, that still, amazing voice of God whispered this scripture to me time & time again.

As I write this I am weeping immensely, but this time with tears of total thankfulness and praise to the amazing God we love & serve who continues to show up time and time again. As Greg and I laid there last night I could honestly feel God's precious, strong arms gently wrapped around Greg & I both, uniting us as parents, allowing us to grieve for this beautiful child He has given us. I thank God for allowing me to have such an amazing husband. Greg's love & strength continue to amaze me on a daily/hourly basis.

As I woke up this morning and looked over at Ashtyn (who had come in to sleep in our bed during the night) I couldn't help but weep and pray a prayer of thanksgiving for allowing me to be the mother of such beautiful children, and for allowing us this time to really see the blessing He has given us with new clarity. Quickly after my prayer I headed to my Bible to see just where this verse He was giving me was located and I am so thankful I found it. Verse 29-30 goes on to say "Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." My study Bible's commentary says that Jesus doesn't offer a life of luxurious ease - the yoke is still an oxen's tool for working hard. But it's a shared yoke, with weight falling on bigger shoulder than yours. Someone with more pulling power is up front helping. Suddenly you are participating in life's responsibilities with a great Partner - and now that frown can turn into a smile, and that gripe into a song. Wow! God's grace is truly amazing and His direction is always clear if we just be still and allow Him to work in & through us! Amazing!

I have so many things to be thankful for, yesterday we were surrounded by hundreds of prayers and had the blessing of some special people in our lives right there by our side! Kay Lindley, your friendship is a treasure and I thank you for being my support person yesterday (and always) and for taking the time to go with us to Ashtyn's treatment's. Our time of sharing during these trips blesses my heart so much! You truly don't know how much you mean to our family! Bryan & MAC, you guys are stinkin' awesome! Thanks so much for your enduring love & prayers & for being our "earthly rocks", I am so glad Greg was surrounded by you when I couldn't be with him.

My prayer today Father is of utmost praise! You rock my world Lord and I thank you for sharing the yoke, for Your shoulders that are bigger than mine and Your pulling power that is always up in front of me giving me the strength to carry on! Be with Ashtyn Lord, I pray that Your will be done and that she will be filled with Your peace & strength each and every moment of the day! Heal her Lord in accordance to Your will! Thank you Father for all the many prayer warriors that are blessing our lives, bless them in a way that only You can! May you be forever exalted and lifted high!

Go Seniors!!

Here at Arcadia Valley our two biggest events are our Fall Festival and of course our Thanksgiving basketball tournament! Well, the time has come for our Fall Festival and yesterday one candidate from each class was chosen. Each candidate has to chose two 1st grade attendants who accompany her in the parade and at the coronation ceremony at night! AND.......Hannah was chosen to walk for the Senior class! She (and I) are so excited! That may sound so silly, but it is a tradition here. I walked when I was in 1st grade and THANK GOD I have no pictures to post of that! If I did they are probably all so faded due to the length of time since then that they wouldn't show up! HA! Anyway, our festival is on October 20th! And we have lots to look forward to and get done between now and then! On Friday the 19th they have a float viewing so if you get a chance you'll have to head to AV to check them out! Floats here are a big deal and are voted on and they are usually really great!

So, other than that, not a whole lot new here except still trying to unpack and prepare my home for a couple of "Imagine" events that we will be having here! AAAHHH!! I have started a new book called "Glocalization", it is really good so far! I started it on the plane ride home, but haven't gotten back into it since! It is a follow up to a book I read a couple months ago called "Transformation" which was an amazing book! They both talk about how we as a church can impact the local and global world, thus "Glocal"! Another MAC inspiring book!

My prayer today Father is that through these events in our lives that You will be glorified and you would give us new opportunities to walk across the room! That our actions will point directly to You and that You will place new lives before us that we can help impact and lead into life changing relationships with You! Draw us closer to You Lord, help us to live in 3D and help us to Imagine a world that is turning completely upside down and on fire for You! I love you & praise You!

An amazing trip...

Wow! As I reflect on our time away as a family I am incredibly overwhelmed and amazed at the blessing of this trip! It was awesome!

I didn't have the opportunity like I had hoped to blog due to limited internet access at the Village where we stayed, but I posted just a couple of the village pictures right now until I finish unpacking and am able to find the disc's and websites to share with you! We had the amazing opportunity to stay at a place called Give Kids the World and you can check it out here. It was absolutely, positively stinkin' awesome (as Bryan would say)! It was quite overwhelming! The pictures or the website really does no justice for the place or the amazing volunteers and hard work that goes on daily 24/7! Our villa was awesome, it was a two bedroom, two bath with a family room and kitchen! AWESOME!

Our trip was truly amazing and as I write, my eyes are filled with tears, tears of joy and thankfulness for this time that God allowed us together, a time to kick back, laugh, cry, enjoy each and every moment and truly reflect on the beautiful life and family God has blessed us with!

So that is enough for today, my plan is to recap each day of our trip in the next few days! Hopefully I will have found my disc's and things by then to share more photos.

My prayer today Father is of overwhelming thanks! Thank you Father for this amazing time with my family, a safe trip, and for awesome prayer warriors right here at home! Father, I pray a prayer of blessing on GKTW and on each and every family who passes through there as well. May their lives be blessed by Your loving presence daily and may they know that You love them and are there for them in each and every moment, through the laughter, tears and with each and every breath we breathe! I thank You for Your love, grace and forgiveness and for your Omnipotent presence in our lives! May you be glorified in and through our lives!

Disney MGM Studios & Epcot

This day was yet another great day filled with fun & adventure! I only posted a couple of pictures just to signify where we were that day! I added the "Tower of Terror" in tribute to Hannah! This was her absolute favorite ride! Crazy child! I myself didn't ride it, but she and Greg tackled it with great enthusiasm! And loved it! Ashtyn and I just chilled out and "people watched" when they went on the rides Ashtyn was unable to. It was great!

We started out at MGM and it was a great park! We spent several hours there and then headed over to Epcot which was great too! Our favorite ride there was called "Soarin"! This is a simulated ride that truly makes you feel like you are "soarin'" over California! It was amazing! After a long day there we headed back to the village and ordered pizza (which was available to us anytime) and let the girls chill & swim and headed to the most awesome place in the village...the Ice Cream Shop! Talk about sweet! You can get ice cream from 730am until 930pm! And let me tell you what we enjoyed one of the best banana splits around! And it wasn't just the girls & I either...Greg enjoyed one as well!

Once again my prayer is of thanksgiving! This trip is a trip that we will cherish forever Father and I am so thankful! I thank you for all the families represented here and I pray that if it is your will Father, You will heal these children in a way that only You can! Thank you for the blessing of life and family God, thank You for being the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords!

Magic Kingdom...

Wow! After arriving late Sunday evening we were up and running at 6:30am Florida time...did I mention that my body was still on Missouri time of 5:30 am (ouch!)! Anyway, what an awesome day it was.

We started our day off early with an amazing breakfast here at the village. And let me tell you what...they go all out for breakfast...not to mention they fix our plates AND carry them to our table for us! Now that is service!

As Greg headed to an orientation about the village the girls and I road an amazing carousel at the village and just got acquainted with everything on the grounds! And it is spectacular! They have done a phenomenal job here! Again, if your interested you can check out the village here. (Blogger is not allowing me to post pictures but I will edit them in later!)

Once Greg was finished we headed out to Magic Kingdom and MAN and was it magical! We were truly amazed at the place! Between Greg, Hannah and I, I think we road almost all the rides in the park...although we started Ashtyn off on the wrong foot with a couple water rides that were a bit intimidating for her size (DUH!) she was a very good, but cautious sport! Did I mention we had the awesome priviledge of no wait for the rides? AWESOME!! Ashtyn has this pin she wore and it allowed us to go right to the front of the line! SWEEEEET!

Hannah amazed us with her braveness! She couldn't get enough of the roller coasters! The faster the better! Thank goodness...because she had to ride them twice, once with Greg and then with me! It was great to hear her giggle and quite hilarious as she would brief me on the rides before, during and after each one! She could not get enough of it!

The most wonderful and memorable time of our visit to the Magic Kingdom was the awesome meet and greet session the girls had the opportunity to have with each of the characters, but mostly with the "Princesses". That was Ashtyn's main wish...to meet them. So once we arrived to the area, the hosts sweeped us right up and cleared the room allowing the girls time to visit with the princesses. It was amazing! The caring and compassionate hearts of these ladies blessed my heart so much! Ashtyn was in total awe of them, they played "Ring around the rosie" with the girls and instead of singing, "Ashes, ashes we all fall down", they sang, "Ashtyn, Ashtyn we all fall down". Whew...talk about tears streaming! Hannah enjoyed it too, but she's more into the "older" stuff like Hannah Montana, etc. so although she thought it was cool, she had her specks on much greater things while we were there!

As if that wasn't enough excitement for all of us, Greg surprised us with an amazing dinner at Cinderella's castle! It was wonderful! The girls became princesses not only to Greg & I, but to the waiters as well, I became "My lady" and Greg became "My lord". Quite magical and the food was delicious.

To end our evening we enjoyed the most amazing fireworks display I have ever seen! It was stinkin' awesome! They go above and beyond awesome! (I really wish the pictures would upload!)

This day was amazingly memorable and one I will cherish for the rest of my days here on earth!

My prayer is of utmost praise to the awesome God I love and serve...not just for this amazing day but for His every loving presence in our lives and for the love He blesses me with each and every moment of the day! May You be glorified in and through our lives Father, may our actions and words point directly to You!

One day and counting...

Woooo-Whoooo! One more day and we are on a jetplane headed for Disney! We are all excited and ready to go! After lots of prayers from some awesome people we are destined for some relaxation and totally living for the moment! I am half packed and headed to work tonight, but that isn't seeming to phase my joy a bit (THANK YOU LORD!)!

Today was a blessing, Ashtyn & I had the opportunity to join the "Young at Heart's" for lunch at church. We had some amazing food and best of all I was able to finally put some face's with names....names I had prayed for or have received prayer from, it was great! I truly look forward to the next one. These people are the foundation of our church and are so incredibly in sync with the church's vision and supportive of the future of our church! They blessed my heart tremendously!

I am looking forward to blogging from Disney and plan to place some of our pictures from each day. That is pretty risky to say since I'm not very tech savvy, but with a little help and the Lord willing, I'm sure it will be fine!

My prayer today is of thankfulness, not only for the peace you have given me, but for the beautiful people I had the opportunity to meet today. Guide us today and keep us in line with your will Father. May we never forget those who paved the road before us and cherish their mentorship that they are so eager to share. I love you Lord, and I lift my voice, to worship you, Oh my soul rejoice, take joy my King, in what you hear, may it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear...

I'm SO excited!!

Wow! Two posts in one day...that is a record breaker for me. But I was so excited to try my new link trick that Mel taught me that I had to post again. So here it goes....cross your fingers...let's see if it works!!

I had two wonderful phone calls today, one from Penny & one from Mel (it worked!). These ladies uplift my heart so much. We can talk about anything! God truly has blessed me with them so much! Mel and I talked so much about our husbands and how we should truly cover them in prayer daily as we encourage them in their job and in their walk. We live life together daily, so it is important to keep one another strong and accountable. So I wanted to post my prayer for them, so if you are reading I ask that you pray for the staff at Meadow Heights , they are courageously heading up the vision God has for the church and are doing an amazing job. I also encourage you to check our Mel's blog and check out her blog's from yesterday and today and link to the blogs she talks about, they are pretty cool!

My prayer: I pray a hedge of strength and protection around the staff at Meadow Heights, around their hearts and around their friendships. Father I pray that You would bind them together through Your Word, strength and love. Bless them in a way that only You can Heavenly Father. May they be filled with Your peace and Your strength today and always as they seek your wisdom, knowledge and understanding in their pursuit to fulfill your vision for Meadow Heights church. I thank you for them God and I thank you in advance for all your going to do in and through their lives and hard work. May their vision always be clear and their focus forever on you, fill them with the endurance to run this race Lord in a way that only You can. Once again, your awesome Father and I love and thank you.

A new beginning...

Our LifeGroup just gave birth to two beautiful groups, which was quite emotional, we have lived life so much together, they have been with us through some pretty rough times and we love each of them SO much, but we had to let go...get out of our comfort zones...step into what God intends for our groups...walk across the room...so, last night was our first group since the new beginning (I'm not fond of the term "split" so I will avoid it, because it is a growth, a new beginning). I am so incredibly proud of my friend Nancy who totally stepped out of her comfort zone into the Zone of the Unknown to lead our new group! She took a step of faith, trusting totally in God to lead and guide through her! BEAUTIFUL! I love to watch the beautiful growth in people and am humbled by the opportunity to watch her blossom and glow with the love of God. It just truly touches my heart and continues to ingnite my fire for God and encourages me to live a more missional life! I am so excited to see how God is going to move in and through our new groups!

Today marks the 50th birthday of one of the greatest men I know, Bo Lindley! Bo, along with his beautiful family (Kay, Chase & Mary Katherine)have blessed our life so much! From the first time I met them (years ago) they have truly had an impact on my life! Although I've known them for years, I have to say the last year and a half of being in their LifeGroup has been the biggest impacting time. Bo's knowledge of the Bible inspires and challenges me to get in there and dig deep and truly understand what it was that Jesus faced in all the days He walked on this earth! That southern drawl keeps us smiling, yet comforts us in times when we need encouragement! Thanks Bo and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! We love you lots!

My prayer today: Father I come to you today thanking you for the gift of friendship, I thank you for uniting us in your love. I lift up each and every LifeGroup today Lord, praying that we would step up and live up to your calling for us, live missionaly and truly walk across the room, give each the strength to break out of those comfort zones and remind us, it's not about us, it's all about You Lord, break each of our hearts for the lost, give us a hunger to reach out and walk across the room like never before. I love you so much Father God, I am incredibly humbled by the love, grace and forgiveness you bless me with each and every moment of the day, I pray that I would bless each and everyone I come in contact with, with the same love, grace and forgiveness you give me. We truly serve and love an awesome God!

Life is but a vapor...

James 4:14 couldn't be clearer to me today as I have been reflecting on my life over the last couple of weeks. Where did that time go? I have been challenged in many different areas of my life and have taken some steps to really get my life and my families lives in line with the will of God for our lives. It hasn't been easy and I have really battled pride throughout the process. I long to truly live out God's calling for my life and have been finding so many obstacles in the way, nothing major, just lots of little things that tend to get in the way. After a lot of prayer, I was able to give my notice at work that I wanted to move from part-time to PRN (as needed). I have struggled so much with this decision, but God had continued to give me confirmation on my decision and remind me...it's not about me, it's about Him!

My family & I are on the countdown...5 days until we leave for Disneyworld! We are truly a bundle of emotions! We had Ashtyn's "Send off party" this past Saturday with the Make-A-Wish foundation and let me tell you what, it was all we could do to not cry the entire time. It's one of those bitter-sweet moments in life, your excited to go & have this opportunity with your family, but in the mean time, you would rather be there paying your own way with a totally healthy child. Yet, on the other hand, we are so humbled and thankful for the opportunities God has given us with this trial. We have been blessed by so many amazing people in our lives, who have joined us in this battle, prayed for us, cried with us, encouraged us and totally loved us with the love of the Lord. It is truly humbling. We are truly blessed beyond compare.

As I watch the girls each day their anticipation and excitement continue to grow & grow & grow. They are so precious! Ashtyn is packing and unpacking everyday. She'll pack her favorite blanky that she sleeps with each day in hopes that the next time she unpacks it we will be at Disneyworld. I look so forward to the time with them, to allow them to be totally kids, away with just Greg & I, a family blessed by God and our church family!

This new series at church is awesome! Greg & I read the book back in March or April and it truly blessed & encouraged us, I cannot wait to see how it ignites MH's and blesses the Parkland as we all walk across the room! Our church is incredibly blessed by an amazing staff who continues to encourage us, motivate us and feed us with the Word of God! So to you Bryan, MAC, Michael, J-miah, Greg P, Brent and last but certainly not least Greg A. (my best friend & husband) THANK YOU for loving us, loving God and living a missional life that challenges and encourages each of us!

Father God, I thank You for the beautiful life you have blessed me with, my family, friends, church and church family! I thank you for your calling not only for my life, but for the lives of my family and I pray that you would continue to use us to glorify You, that people will see us and know that You are a God who lives within us, strengthens us, loves us, heals us and fills us with a peace that passes all understanding. May they see You in not only our trial, but in the challenges they face daily and know that all they have to do is call on Your name. I pray that you will bless our staff and their tremendous efforts, may they be filled with Your peace, strength, knowledge, wisdom and understanding in the coming months, guide and direct them Father in a way that only You can. I love you so much, and I thank you for your amazing grace and love!

A beautiful rain...

As I sit to blog, I am completely soaked, but blessed by the beautiful rain that is finally nourishing the earth.

As Ashtyn & I were waiting for Hannah after school the rain began to fall on us. Everyone around was huddling under their umbrellas, but as for Ashtyn and I....we intentionally left them in the car. We wanted to not just see the rain, but to feel the rain. And as Hannah came out she asked where the umbrellas were and my only answer was that they were in the car and that we were going to "play in the rain" and enjoy the blessing God was giving us. So as we got home it was raining even harder and out we went to play in the rain, to rid & refresh our souls as the rain fell on us. And what a teachable moment!!! Although we may have looked silly dancing around in the rain, our hearts were full of thanksgiving as we danced around singing "Thank you Jesus for the rain". Not only was it teachable for the kids, but as for me as well!

Once again God sends us a humble reminder that He knows not only our needs, but the needs of the very earth that He made. That in His time He will quench the earth and all the beauty that He has given us, just as He quenches our souls thirst with the Living Water.

God uses amazing things, whether great or small, to send the most abundant peace throughout my body & soul! Not to mention the time I needed just to let go of everything, be a kid again, and most of all to see & feel another miracle of the awesome God I love & serve.

My prayer today Father is of thanksgiving, not just for today, but for life and for the awesome gift of everlasting life that you have given each of through the death of your precious Son Jesus on the cross and the only thing you ask Father is that we acknowledge that we are sinners and ask you to come into our hearts and love you...Wow! Your love is amazing! I lift up those who don't know you and I pray that they would take the step of faith to invite you into their hearts and that they would allow you to invade their lives like never before, that they would not just invite you in Father, but that they would truly experience a life-changing relationship with you. And Father God, I pray that you would use our church and the staff as they see your vision for Meadow Heights and they feel the hurt of the lost. Give them a strength that can only come from You. I pray that you would use my life to reach others for you, that you would continue to place people before me and that you would continue to break my heart for those who are hurting & in need for you and fill me with a hunger for your Word like none other! Thank you Jesus for your love, grace & forgiveness and for being the omnipotent God who was, is and is to come!

Pumped & ready to go...

OH MY GOODNESS! What an amazing weekend to be at Meadow Heights, it was so incredibly hard for me to contain myself!! Wow! I am truly almost speechless (and it is really hard for me to picture that myself.)

Bryan's vision cast added fuel to my heart & soul's fire! God truly knew what my heart was needing and as I looked back at my last post, my prayer was that He would allow me to see His calling for my life with new clarity and WOW!! has He been refreshing my calling not only this weekend, but over the last week as I had the opportunity to spend some amazing times with two amazing women that I am able to live life with (Penny & Mel)! (Thanks girls for being my sista's and for supporting/encouraging me, praying for me, and living life together!) You bless me tremedously!

As Greg & I were driving home last night, we both were so excited! I think I could have ran 10 miles on pure adrenaline! We talked of God's amazingness the whole drive and how AWESOME it was that He brought two of the most amazing people to worship with us. Scot & Kay have been with us through all of life's up & down's, they have laughed with us, cried with us, prayed with us, encouraged us and grew with us! We have been anticipating their presence with us at a service for SO long, we have planned several times and something has always came up, but as Greg & I talked, we aren't one bit surprised that God arranged the perfect timing to be on "Vision Weekend 2007", we're quite pumped to see what God has in store & are so incredibly thankful for their presence not only Saturday night, but in our lives daily!!

My heart was pumping with the beat of anticipation, excitement and thankfulness the entire service. To hear the word "missions" sets me totally on fire! I've always known "missions" was something was calling me to do , but with new clarity! I'm psyched & cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!!! I get so excited that I have to remind my self , that each day is a mission, we are called to live missionaly, in our homes, at the store, on the street, in our jobs...each and everywhere we go, we are to shine our lights and sprinkle our salts that come from God & God alone. Imagine...

My prayer today Father is that you would forgive me for limiting you with a thimble, Lord I bring you a bucket and I pray that You would fill it in a way that only You can, Lord that you would use my life to ignite the Parkland and Your world. I pray that you would continue to open my heart & eyes to see the hurt & the hearts of each person I come in contact with and I pray that you would bless our church, the staff and our vision beyond all compare! Keep us humble & strong in the battle of life, that when people see us, they will see You! I can only imagine!!!

Called or Driven???

Where has the time gone? It is hard to believe it has been almost a week since I last posted. I guess I must be suffering from writer's block or something.

Since I last posted I have still been reading "Ordering Your Private World" (not as often as I would like) and let me tell you what...if you haven't read it, it is one I would greatly recommend.

MAC had suggested this book to me long ago and as he put it, "it will kick you in the pants", and it has and I am thankful.

This book has allowed me to reflect on a time when I was completely broken and allowed me again to be so thankful for it. Without that brokenness, I cannot say that I would be where I am today. I would still probably be living life totally on my own strength, not giving God the glory for who He is.

I am a very outgoing, DRIVEN person. That is my personality and unfortunately at times, that is what I have stuck to...being DRIVEN, not being CALLED. There is nothing wrong with being driven, but there are times and opportunites when God calls us to do something and we are so busy doing the things we are DRIVEN to do that there is no time to live up to God's calling for our lives. And at times being driven costs us terribly...it robs us of peace, blessings etc., etc., etc., I can look back at so many times in my life when I have done stuff just to DO because of being driven. It robbed me of the blessing of truly enjoying what God had in store for me and left a feeling of emptiness inside, leaving me bruised and frustrated, not understanding why Iwas doing all of this and I still hadn't experienced that "fulfilled" feeling. Every been there? It is a miserable feeling!!

I am so thankful that God has been growing me and allowing me to realize what He has in store for me and has given me the strength to just take a breath, take some time to pray about whatever it is that I feel "called" to do, and to truly see if it is my drivenness or His calling for me. It has been a long process and one I am still working through, but with God's grace and forgiveness, I have climbed over that mountain of being a "people pleaser" and am climbing for the goal of being 100% obedient to God's calling for my life.

Just as John the Baptist stated, "He must increase, but I must decrease". A called person is a steward, knows who he is, and because he is purposeful, anticipates the day when it is time to step back and let go. In the book Gordon MacDonald says that no driven person could ever say what John said, because driven people have to keep gaining more and more attention, more and more power, more and more material assets. They have to hold on; and they cannot let go. Too much of themselves is wound up in what they are doing. OUCH! I truly remember a time when I was so "wound up" that my focus was totally not on God! Although I thought I was doing things to glorify God, the spotlight was on the flesh instead of the Spirit!



My prayer today is Father God that You would increase and that I would become less and that you would continue to humble me, allowing me to reject the flesh daily and to walk souly in the Spirit. That You would continue to convict me of those times I feel "driven" instead of called and to allow me to see Your calling for my life with new clarity each day. Thank you Father for your grace, forgiveness and your calling for my life, it is truly amazing and humbling to have the opportunity to serve You.

Can anyone say, "Amen"...

Yesterday and today have been full of the busy's! Nothing major, just lots of little things to get done. From taking my father-in-law for a routine test to grocery shopping to laundry, I could go on and on. But the highlight of my days lately are the times we spend in the car. I know that seems weird and it seems really weird to hear myself saying it because I used to hate the car, in Nursing School I pretty much lived in my car running here and there. But now, I enjoy it, sometimes it seems like its the only moment I have to sit down. Yesterday as we were driving from all our routes keeping the pavement hot (as if it's not hot enough right?) I decided I would have an "in the car revival", one my soul was yearning for, so I popped in the first session of my "Amazing Grace" Cd's from church and it was so incredibly refreshing!

The prayers and conversations the girl and I have in the car bless me abundantly and fills me with a reminder of how blessed I am. Yesterday as the girls and I were heading home from picking Hannah up from school my revival continued. At one point in the sermon Bryan said "Amen" and from the back seat of I heard the most precious little amen follow. Not that she knew what her little amen really meant, but it touched my heart to hear her. And it reminded me that children do listen and pick up on every little thing, even when we don't realize it.


Then as we continued on our way home there was a bus ahead of with a big truck between us, the truck was driving crazy, and at one point in the route the bus pulls over and allows the traffic to go by, so off goes this crazy truck, leaving me in his dust (literally) and Hannah says, "Man, mom that trucks got some horse power" and before I could wonder where she got that, she continued "But Dud (our quarter horse) has more power than that". She cracks me up!


Children are truly a gift from God, to lighten our hearts, keep us humble and to convict us of our actions!



My prayer today is that God would forgive me for the many times I have failed to be a shining example to my children. That He would continue to convict me of my shortcomings, remind me how blessed I truly am and fill me with the love and patience for my children that He has for me.

A new week, A new challenge...

This weekend's message from our Summer of Love series really spoke to my heart as the message dealt with forgiveness. Bryan's points really encouraged me so I wanted to post them as a reminder to myself as I look back over my blogs.

Forgiveness is not...

• conditional, that real forgivenesss is unconditional


• minimizing the seriousness of the offense


• resuming a relationship without changes


• forgetting what happened


• my right when I wasn't the one who was hurt

But Genuine forgiveness is...

• relinquishing my right to get even (Romans 12:19)


• responding to evil with good, (Luke 6:27-28)


• repeating that as long as necessary (Matt. 18:21-22) We have to chose to love until the pain stops. Because love is a CHOICE


• **remembering how much you've been forgiven (Col. 3:13, Eph. 4:32, Col. 2:13-14)**

How beautiful is the forgiveness of our Lord, that He would nail His son to the cross for each and everyone of our sins...past, present, future! Amazing!

Another challenge... I have began to read the book "Ordering Your Private World" by Gordon MacDonald. MAC continues to encourage me and equip me through resources that continue to convict, challenge and inspire me beyond belief! Thanks MAC for being such an encourager! Your friendship blesses me! So I began this morning with no electric and I have to say a lot of frustration (Sorry Greg) from the fact that I had so much to get done around the house (laundry, dishes etc, etc, etc) and no electricity to do them with (I was allowing the outer world affect my private world, which this book talks about) and I have to thank God for that blessing, because without electric I was allowed to sit down, reflect on God's Word and the notes from this weekend and to start reading this book. THANK YOU GOD! I am now on Chapter 3 and have already been able to reflect on past obstacles in my life that left me broken & bruised yet built my strength, humbled me and lead me to totally rely on God in my life and for the direction and path He has lead and is leading me on .

In Chapter one of this book Gordon quoted a paragraph from a book by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, wife of Charles, the famous aviator and let me tell you what, it was as if I were the one writing this, it is a longing I myself have and strive for. So here it is....

I want first of all...to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I want, in fact - to borrow from the language of the saints - to live "in grace" as much of the time as possible. I am not using this term in a strictly theological sense. By grace I mean an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony. I am seeking perhaps what Socrates asked for in the prayer from the Phaedrus when he said, "May the outward and inward man be one." I would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God."

I couldn't have said that better myself!

My prayer today is that I would allow God total reign in my private world, that I would love and forgive unconditionally and be at total peace with the woman God has made me to be. And that His grace would continue to strengthen me as I get intentional with "ordering my private world" so I am at total peace within and my outward and inward woman would be made one through Him!

One night down...

Well, it is Friday and I made it successfully through my night shift! Whew! I have to admit...I was sweating it! As the time drew closer to go to work and I still had not slept I began to rely on my strength & not the strength that God gives me, thinking how in the world am I going to make it for over 26 hours without sleep. (I mean, I am the type of person that 8 hours of sleep is about 4 hours shy of being a perfect night's rest!) I prayed tons on the way to work and when I started thinking of how WE (God & I) were going to get through the night I began to feel myself relaxing. As I got to work and all our rooms were full with two more babies on the way, I took a deep breath and thanked God for the busy night ahead that would allow my adrenaline to pump me through the night. It was definetly a very busy night, but I feel so humbled to have the opportunity help bring new lives into the world and witness the gift of life and live out part of God's calling for my life. What a blessing!! Thank you God for this awesome gift & calling on my life!
Ashtyn was amazing when I got home, she knew mommy had to sleep but with the compassionate heart that God gifted her she was prepared to take care of mommy! What a blessing in itself!
I thank God for my family, they support & encourage me so much in my walk with God, they're a blessing I will never be able to thank God for enough. To have two beautiful girls who love the idea of my job as a nurse just as much as I love my job, it's wonderful to see them mimic the care, love & compassion of Christ that He has called us all to have for one another. And to have an amazing husband, who despite his busy schedule, is willing to step up to the plate and be the most amazing husband and dad a family could ever ask for! I thank God for blessing me with the most amazing Ephesians husband this side of heaven!
My prayer today is that God would open the eyes of my heart and allow me to see the hurt of each person I come in contact with and to give me the strength to step out of my comfort zone and just walk across the room and to be a living, breathing example of the awesome God I love & serve.

Me...a closet blogger??

Wow! Who would have thought, me a blogger?? Not I, that's for sure, but thanks to some awesome friends and their encouragement, here I am, Lemon Princess free & clear! You might be thinking...Lemon Princess...where'd she get that? Well, that would be from my best friend in the whole world, my husband Greg. I'm really not like it sounds, it came from a game Greg & I once played with some friends where you were supposed to describe your spouse by a fruit you thinks describes them mixed with your nickname for them. As for why Greg chose Lemon you'll have to speak to him about that, but the princess part needs no explanation, right??
Today has been great so far, I started out at 5am trying to get my body ready for a nap because I start night shift in the OB department where I work, so I hit the treadmill jogging about 530am thinking it would work, but it is now 1241pm and I have been trying to "rest" since 1030 and no luck on the shut eye. But my tactics worked for Ashtyn who is fast asleep in my bed. As I watch her sleep I thank God for the journey He has place us on with her beautiful life, she is an inspiration to me and a reminder to never take life for granted and to live my life intentionally. His grace, love, strength & protection have brought us through so much, brings the hymn "What a friend we have in Jesus" to mind!! If only the world knew they have a friend like Him, I myself would be lost without Him! All those years I just walked through life searching for that "perfect" friend and He was there all the time just waiting for me to open my heart & wrap my arms around Him just as He is there doing every second of every day!!
Hannah's first day of 1st grade was today and she was so excited! As I heard footsteps while I was jogging I looked at my watch to find she was bright eyed and ready to go at 545am. Bless her precious heart, she blesses a mommy's soul! Being a mom to these two precious gifts from God is the best job a woman could ask for...RN part-time, mommy full-time...I have to say they don't compare. I love my job, as I get to witness the miracle of life God has given us, but being a mom rocks!!
My prayer today is that my life will be the salt & light of the earth that seasons and illuminates the world with God's love and that He would allow me to love & see each and every person the way He does! That He would use my hands and my life to heal & encourage the lives He places before me.