I'm back...

I cannot believe that I haven't blogged since 2007! To be honest I needed a little break to digest all that my heart has been feeling over the last few weeks...but not that long...at least I didn't think.
My heart has been so full of so many emotions lately...from total awe with God in His magnificence, joy, sorrow, back to total happiness and in total awe of Him.
I haven't even blogged on the Meadow Heights Arcadia Valley launch on 1-6-08, which was overwhelmingly amazing! Talk about blessing a persons heart. It was incredibly amazing to see the joy on people's faces as they entered and the most awesome part for me was to see the hunger in the eyes of people to meet the Jesus who loves them...people I have grown up with my entire life. I couldn't fight back the tears as I watched them take it all in, clapping to the worship music, singing, some even dancing. My heart was and still is overflowing! Before the opening day, God had already performed miracles in that place, the mere fact that the building was completed in 11 weeks, the people He brought together to complete His vision and the healing that took place in the hearts of many...including me. Throughout the Imagine Campaign Greg kept sharing Deuteronomy 16:17 "Each of you must bring a gift in proportion to the way the Lord your God has blessed you", and although we are giving the commitment God laid on our hearts, I honestly still felt a void, He has blessed us more than would could ever imagine, guess or request and I wanted to do something more...I know you truly cannot "outgive" God, but I wanted to try. And I am so humbled by the fact that He allowed me to be part of His vision for Meadow Heights, the He has blessed my life with sharing this vision with people who's hearts truly burned deep with His vision as well, and for allowing me the amazing opportunity to watch these people who have been hungering for something more, for His love, and for using me to love on them and shine His light for them to see. It is so stinkin' awesome!
After the launch, our family needed some "down time"...time to reconnect, time to praise Him and time to reconnect with some friends we have been away from for a while. Then came time for Ashtyn's 9th chemo treatment and a serious talk with her cardiologist. That day was incredibly draining...emotionally and physically. She has been growing more sick with each treatment, but this day it was the worst we've seen it thus far. She hadn't even completed her treatment and was very sick. And I have to say, as a mom, seeing this precious child like that, brought everything swirling around me. It brought everything grimly back into proportion, and then to make a surgical decision topped the entire day. The whole rest of the day as I held her in my arms the best thing I could do was hold her tight, and keep reciting Jeremiah 29:11 to myself over and over and over, to remind myself that He loves her far greater than I ever could and that He has not brought us to this place in our journey for nothing. He truly amazes me at the way He continually shows up and brings comfort to us in our time of need. If your reading this and have no idea what Ashtyn is dealing with you can check it out here and please feel free to sign her guestbook. She loves receiving messages. The site is still under construction, but I am planning on adding journal entries for every test she has undergone since the beginning.
It feels good to be back, prayerfully it won't be so long until next time.

Father God, your love is truly amazing and I stand in awe of your Omnipotent presence. Thank You for loving me and continue to fill me with Your vision, help me to never lose sight of the lost and hurting. May I see them through Your eyes and with Your love and clarity. Continue to fill me with a hunger for Your word. Your truly amazing...