Woo-Hoo!! Tomorrow is "Race Day" and I am totally pumped. Not because I am ready...because I have only trained 3 days in the last two weeks with all the craziness, but moreso because with this little training it is going to truly allow me to totally rely on God's strength and power, not mine! Sounds crazy huh? Being excited when I am a lot less prepared than I had planned...but that is what this journey is all about to me...glorifying God, depending on Him and persevering in His strength. It brings to light that I can plan all I want, but when it comes to humbling Yourself to Him and allowing Him to work in and through you, you really have to take each day as it comes.
I'll be the first to admit that as my training was slipping to the wayside, being the competitive person I am, I was starting to fret about how my time was going to be at the race. I tend to compete heavily with myself not really others, so I was struggling. But I feel great today as I have said "so long self" and this is all about You God. It's all about those who cannot run this race and truly humbling myself to Him and gaining just a teeny tiny glimpse of the pain that He went through for us that has allowed this week to be so amazing for our family. He gave His life for us and I want to use this one and only life to glorify Him in any way I can. I know it is impossible to outgive God, but I'm giving Him my all to Him and going to thank and praise Him the entire race...pain and all!
It's all for You God, All FOR YOU!!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Praise...
I am totally overjoyed and humbled by the healing God has allowed to take place in Ashtyn's body. Although she is not free from her disease this is one huge glimpse of God's almighty plan for her life. I cannot thank Him enough for the medical technology and doctors He has used to heal this area of her body.
No blood pressure medicine is a huge relief for her. As a adult it is hard enough for me to take medicine, but for a 5 year old with the amount she was required to take to control her blood pressure was a huge challenge each day. This is a true freedom for her that was granted by God and God alone.
We are totally blessed with amazing family and friends, who love on us, pray for us, support us and encourage us, which has blessed us more than they will ever know. God created us to glorify Him and serve and love eachother the way that He loves us and this has been the most beautiful example of the opportunities we have to glorify Him and the amazing love He for us and the love He provides for us through His people.
One thing I want to reflect through this journey of life is that no matter how this surgery turned out, good or bad, or how life continues to be a challenge with Ashtyn's disease, God is good ALL the time and He is our Constant, Protector, Refuge, Confidant, Healer, Best Friend, Father and Lord of our life. I could go on and on with all that He is to us and again I thank Him for the opportunity to fight FROM victory...the victory that He won on the cross for each of us.
Father God, Thank You for being our All in All...for the beauty of each day, for the breath we breathe, for life itself. Thank You for Your amazing love and the beautiful people You have brought into our lives. Thank You for Your healing power, Your timing and Your perfect plan. Thank You just isn't enough Lord, but I give You my life, I give it all to You and pray that You will use me to glorify You and to reach Your children for You. I love You Lord and I lift my voice, to worship You, Oh my soul rejoice, take joy my King, in what you hear, may it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear...
No blood pressure medicine is a huge relief for her. As a adult it is hard enough for me to take medicine, but for a 5 year old with the amount she was required to take to control her blood pressure was a huge challenge each day. This is a true freedom for her that was granted by God and God alone.
We are totally blessed with amazing family and friends, who love on us, pray for us, support us and encourage us, which has blessed us more than they will ever know. God created us to glorify Him and serve and love eachother the way that He loves us and this has been the most beautiful example of the opportunities we have to glorify Him and the amazing love He for us and the love He provides for us through His people.
One thing I want to reflect through this journey of life is that no matter how this surgery turned out, good or bad, or how life continues to be a challenge with Ashtyn's disease, God is good ALL the time and He is our Constant, Protector, Refuge, Confidant, Healer, Best Friend, Father and Lord of our life. I could go on and on with all that He is to us and again I thank Him for the opportunity to fight FROM victory...the victory that He won on the cross for each of us.
Father God, Thank You for being our All in All...for the beauty of each day, for the breath we breathe, for life itself. Thank You for Your amazing love and the beautiful people You have brought into our lives. Thank You for Your healing power, Your timing and Your perfect plan. Thank You just isn't enough Lord, but I give You my life, I give it all to You and pray that You will use me to glorify You and to reach Your children for You. I love You Lord and I lift my voice, to worship You, Oh my soul rejoice, take joy my King, in what you hear, may it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear...
Saturday, March 29, 2008
The beauty of a "wake-up" call...
Today as I have been sitting around thinking about life, I found myself incredibly overwhelmed. The last week has been crazy and I couldn't quite put into words what my heart has been feeling besides truly overwhelmed and quite honestly frustrated and distressed with a hint of bitterness. As I watch Greg struggling it totally breaks my heart...to see the person you love so much hurt so bad is heart wrenching. He is such an amazing husband and dad and to see him feeling so frustrated because he can't be the "strong" one is hard. I know God has plans for this trial, but honestly I have been struggling with this whole situation. Where has my faith been? Not where it should be I can tell you that. As a wife who is striving to be strong for her husband, hold the house together, and a as a mom who is preparing things for Ashtyn's surgery my focus has been in bad shape. So this afternoon as I was feeling tons of self-pity I had the nudge to read the devotion for today from our 50 Promises of Faith daily guide and what an awesome "wake-up" call I received. So I wanted to share it as a reminder to myself where I was today and what brought my faith back into perspective, focusing on the God who loves me more than I could ever fathom!!
"And we know that in all things God words for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
What's good about my problems? Nothing, that's what! That's the wrong question, the wrong angle. Problems are not good-they are terrible, sinful things. Problems are an evidence that there is evil in this world-and if you want you can drive yourself into bitterness thinking about what an evil place this world can be.
What good can God work through my problems-there's the right angle. God works miracles ever day. He takes the evil of problems and suffering and miraculously transforms them into good in our lives.
IN all things...God works...for the good...of those who love Him.
The two most important words int his verse may very well be at the beginning: "We know." How can you and I "know" this? How can we live with the deep inner conviction that even when life is going bad God is still working good?
This verse gives us a recipe for building this sense of security into our lives. The promise is that God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. The twin foundations of this conviction are my love for the Lord and my willingness to live out His purpose. When problems hit, those are the two things that I can focus on that will bring a new sense of security and stability into my life!
By the way, if you're still asking, "What good can problems work?" Roman 8:29 reveals that they have the power to make you more like Jesus! God has the power to take the worst that life throws at us and use those circumstances to form the heart and character of Jesus in us. Your problems are not good, but God IS good.
By Tom Holloday
If these problems can make me more like Jesus...bring it on!! There is no one else that I would rather be like.
Father God, thank You for the "wake-up" call, thank You for Your amazing love and grace and for Your patience for Your children. I pray that You would continue to reveal Your will for my life with new clarity. Fill us with Your peace and strength. Be with all those whose hearts are hurting God, may they feel Your presence and Your peace like never before. I pray that Your peace and healing would reign in Greg & Ashtyn's hearts and lives. Protect them and guide them. May You be forever glorified in our lives...
"And we know that in all things God words for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
What's good about my problems? Nothing, that's what! That's the wrong question, the wrong angle. Problems are not good-they are terrible, sinful things. Problems are an evidence that there is evil in this world-and if you want you can drive yourself into bitterness thinking about what an evil place this world can be.
What good can God work through my problems-there's the right angle. God works miracles ever day. He takes the evil of problems and suffering and miraculously transforms them into good in our lives.
IN all things...God works...for the good...of those who love Him.
The two most important words int his verse may very well be at the beginning: "We know." How can you and I "know" this? How can we live with the deep inner conviction that even when life is going bad God is still working good?
This verse gives us a recipe for building this sense of security into our lives. The promise is that God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. The twin foundations of this conviction are my love for the Lord and my willingness to live out His purpose. When problems hit, those are the two things that I can focus on that will bring a new sense of security and stability into my life!
By the way, if you're still asking, "What good can problems work?" Roman 8:29 reveals that they have the power to make you more like Jesus! God has the power to take the worst that life throws at us and use those circumstances to form the heart and character of Jesus in us. Your problems are not good, but God IS good.
By Tom Holloday
If these problems can make me more like Jesus...bring it on!! There is no one else that I would rather be like.
Father God, thank You for the "wake-up" call, thank You for Your amazing love and grace and for Your patience for Your children. I pray that You would continue to reveal Your will for my life with new clarity. Fill us with Your peace and strength. Be with all those whose hearts are hurting God, may they feel Your presence and Your peace like never before. I pray that Your peace and healing would reign in Greg & Ashtyn's hearts and lives. Protect them and guide them. May You be forever glorified in our lives...
Monday, March 10, 2008
Set the World on Fire...
This song so much says what is on my heart today...what my heart's desire is. Enjoy the video. What's your hearts desire??? Have you thought about it lately??
Father I want to set the world on fire...I want to glorify You. Continue to fill me with a fire for the world...continue to bless me with your vision...may Your vision grow clearer with each new day...may I grow more hungry and thirsty for Your Word each and every day. I pray for each person who is reading this Lord, I pray that You would fill them with a desire for others, I pray that You would reveal Your will to them in a powerful way. Take my dreams Lord, may they glorify You forever and ever...
Father I want to set the world on fire...I want to glorify You. Continue to fill me with a fire for the world...continue to bless me with your vision...may Your vision grow clearer with each new day...may I grow more hungry and thirsty for Your Word each and every day. I pray for each person who is reading this Lord, I pray that You would fill them with a desire for others, I pray that You would reveal Your will to them in a powerful way. Take my dreams Lord, may they glorify You forever and ever...
Thursday, March 6, 2008
A day of thanksgiving...
"That I may proclaim with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all Your wondrous works." ~Psalm 26:7
Why should Thanksgiving can only be celebrated in November?? I find myself giving thanks daily, but today is a rather somber day for me...I don't know if the clouds have anything to do with it...or possibly the house is a little more quiet today with Hannah back in school...but today I find myself completely overwhelmed with thanksgiving for all that God has been allowing me to experience over the last couple of weeks....months....years. So today...I devote a time to just reflect what is on my heart.
*Last week as I got home from work at 8am I learned that Hannah had been up sick all night long with the flu...therefore, both my tank and Greg's tank were empty as he has to dash off to work as I entered into the house, and I was here with no sleep on record over the last 26 hours. So that evening with little to no sleep for either of us, we headed to bed in the form of zombies leaving all our routines (praying with the kids) to the wayside. The girls had wanted to sleep in the family room, which we agreed upon, and as Greg & I were lying in we heard the most moving, tear jerking testimony that will bless our heart for the rest of our days. Ashtyn's voice was very low and she asked Hannah if she has prayed yet, Hannah responded not yet, and Ashtyn immediately started praying, not a just nightly prayer, but a prayer that was filled with the Holy Spirit as she covered her ill sister and her mommy & daddy as we were all tired. How amazing! I could hardly catch my breath as the tears fell and we listened onto this amazing God moment between two sisters.
*Five years ago I faced one of the greatest challenges and trials of my life...I had fallen into a deep dark depression that I totally cannot describe. This depression lasted for 3 years, and as I searched for the cause and reached out to people to help me, I continued to fall deeper and deeper into a depression. I had test after test and medicine after medicine until the last medication I was prescribed sent me into a life-threatening situation. One that we learned about this past weekend at Meadow Heights, one you hear about as a side-effect to medications or possibly read about in a book or magazine...I began having suicidal thoughts...talk about scary. The reason I share this with you and find it such a blessing, is because it is real, depression is real, suicide is real, but the greatest thing I learned and experienced was that God's healing is real. After 3 years I found myself calling on the Lord who loved me and was waiting for me to call on His name. Throughout this whole trial I was a Christ follower (which satan used to make me feel even worse), I knew He was there, but was using my strength and others strength to guide me through. Until one day, I was struggling and I tried to call several people to talk, but their lines were busy, busy, busy. And then suddenly a peace came over me as God gently told me He is there, He's had been there the whole time, and as I gave this depression to Him...left it at the foot of the cross, I found healing and peace that was a total blessing from God. I thank Him daily for that trial and I honestly can tell you that without that trial I don't think that I would have the strength to endure all that Ashtyn is going through and I wouldn't have the vision that God has given me to help people to know all that God has in store for them, to show them how much Jesus truly loves them and empower women to know that God has an amazing purpose for each and every one of us. God's plan for my life keeps showing up as He continues to place women in my life with the same mission yet with their own trials that will help build the bond of one huge God plan. So thanks Mel & Heather S. for keeping me real and praying with me and for me. God's got BIG plans and I cannot wait to see how it all unfolds!
*My 5K journey is still going amazingly! God continues to keep humbling me throughout this training, but I count it all a blessing as each day when I train I can give all the glory back to Him and thank Him that the pain and tiredness I am feeling is nothing compared to how He felt for us. Along with the gift of growing closer and closer to Christ through this race, I find it so awesome to be running with such amazing women. As I have my iPod going with praise music, I love it that as we are running we can join hands and pray together that His endurance, strength and perseverance will guide us throughout the next however many miles, that I don't have to feel weird to raise my hands toward Him in praise as I am moved by whatever song is playing or in total awe by the strength that flows directly from Him to continue that 29 minutes. He continues to move me, overwhelm me and inspire me to finish this race and many more with endurance and perseverance. I am so thankful for this journey!
*Ashtyn had her 11th chemo treatment this week and with the weather it was debatable as to whether we were going to be able to go or not. But God again showed up with spectacular guidance and safety. I thought it was awesome that Heather Self took the time away from her family to go up one night early with the girls and I to stay in St. Louis. Talk about selfless people. Thanks so much for loving God and us! And to top the cake, God knew we were supposed to be there. As we got to treatment Ash's blood pressure was really high, so that alarmed the doctor to was to check things out a little more, so at the end of her treatment they wanted to check her blood pressure in her other arm (which had the IV in it)and it was even higher. So her Rheumatologist, Dr. Andrew White, and a team of cardiologists led by Dr. David Balzer, all decided together that it was necessary to add another blood pressure medicine. Thank God we went that day or we wouldn't have caught it or had all the doctors right there. Thank God for His guidance and perfect timing and the safety as He brought us safely home.
My prayer today is of total awe and thankfulness Father, thank You for Your perfect timing, thank You for Your love. Thank You for the reminder of how truly blessed I am. Thank You for Meadow Heights and the beautiful, amazing people it has brought into my life. Thank You for the trials of life, may Your vision continue to grow and grow with more clarity and may You forever be glorified in and through my life. Thank You, thank You, thank You...
Why should Thanksgiving can only be celebrated in November?? I find myself giving thanks daily, but today is a rather somber day for me...I don't know if the clouds have anything to do with it...or possibly the house is a little more quiet today with Hannah back in school...but today I find myself completely overwhelmed with thanksgiving for all that God has been allowing me to experience over the last couple of weeks....months....years. So today...I devote a time to just reflect what is on my heart.
*Last week as I got home from work at 8am I learned that Hannah had been up sick all night long with the flu...therefore, both my tank and Greg's tank were empty as he has to dash off to work as I entered into the house, and I was here with no sleep on record over the last 26 hours. So that evening with little to no sleep for either of us, we headed to bed in the form of zombies leaving all our routines (praying with the kids) to the wayside. The girls had wanted to sleep in the family room, which we agreed upon, and as Greg & I were lying in we heard the most moving, tear jerking testimony that will bless our heart for the rest of our days. Ashtyn's voice was very low and she asked Hannah if she has prayed yet, Hannah responded not yet, and Ashtyn immediately started praying, not a just nightly prayer, but a prayer that was filled with the Holy Spirit as she covered her ill sister and her mommy & daddy as we were all tired. How amazing! I could hardly catch my breath as the tears fell and we listened onto this amazing God moment between two sisters.
*Five years ago I faced one of the greatest challenges and trials of my life...I had fallen into a deep dark depression that I totally cannot describe. This depression lasted for 3 years, and as I searched for the cause and reached out to people to help me, I continued to fall deeper and deeper into a depression. I had test after test and medicine after medicine until the last medication I was prescribed sent me into a life-threatening situation. One that we learned about this past weekend at Meadow Heights, one you hear about as a side-effect to medications or possibly read about in a book or magazine...I began having suicidal thoughts...talk about scary. The reason I share this with you and find it such a blessing, is because it is real, depression is real, suicide is real, but the greatest thing I learned and experienced was that God's healing is real. After 3 years I found myself calling on the Lord who loved me and was waiting for me to call on His name. Throughout this whole trial I was a Christ follower (which satan used to make me feel even worse), I knew He was there, but was using my strength and others strength to guide me through. Until one day, I was struggling and I tried to call several people to talk, but their lines were busy, busy, busy. And then suddenly a peace came over me as God gently told me He is there, He's had been there the whole time, and as I gave this depression to Him...left it at the foot of the cross, I found healing and peace that was a total blessing from God. I thank Him daily for that trial and I honestly can tell you that without that trial I don't think that I would have the strength to endure all that Ashtyn is going through and I wouldn't have the vision that God has given me to help people to know all that God has in store for them, to show them how much Jesus truly loves them and empower women to know that God has an amazing purpose for each and every one of us. God's plan for my life keeps showing up as He continues to place women in my life with the same mission yet with their own trials that will help build the bond of one huge God plan. So thanks Mel & Heather S. for keeping me real and praying with me and for me. God's got BIG plans and I cannot wait to see how it all unfolds!
*My 5K journey is still going amazingly! God continues to keep humbling me throughout this training, but I count it all a blessing as each day when I train I can give all the glory back to Him and thank Him that the pain and tiredness I am feeling is nothing compared to how He felt for us. Along with the gift of growing closer and closer to Christ through this race, I find it so awesome to be running with such amazing women. As I have my iPod going with praise music, I love it that as we are running we can join hands and pray together that His endurance, strength and perseverance will guide us throughout the next however many miles, that I don't have to feel weird to raise my hands toward Him in praise as I am moved by whatever song is playing or in total awe by the strength that flows directly from Him to continue that 29 minutes. He continues to move me, overwhelm me and inspire me to finish this race and many more with endurance and perseverance. I am so thankful for this journey!
*Ashtyn had her 11th chemo treatment this week and with the weather it was debatable as to whether we were going to be able to go or not. But God again showed up with spectacular guidance and safety. I thought it was awesome that Heather Self took the time away from her family to go up one night early with the girls and I to stay in St. Louis. Talk about selfless people. Thanks so much for loving God and us! And to top the cake, God knew we were supposed to be there. As we got to treatment Ash's blood pressure was really high, so that alarmed the doctor to was to check things out a little more, so at the end of her treatment they wanted to check her blood pressure in her other arm (which had the IV in it)and it was even higher. So her Rheumatologist, Dr. Andrew White, and a team of cardiologists led by Dr. David Balzer, all decided together that it was necessary to add another blood pressure medicine. Thank God we went that day or we wouldn't have caught it or had all the doctors right there. Thank God for His guidance and perfect timing and the safety as He brought us safely home.
My prayer today is of total awe and thankfulness Father, thank You for Your perfect timing, thank You for Your love. Thank You for the reminder of how truly blessed I am. Thank You for Meadow Heights and the beautiful, amazing people it has brought into my life. Thank You for the trials of life, may Your vision continue to grow and grow with more clarity and may You forever be glorified in and through my life. Thank You, thank You, thank You...
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